a new look

for a week.

i don't wanna steal a man's style, but just for a week i think he'd appreciate it.

sailor jerry made me do this.

thanks.

*update 08/12* [back to normal. times italic bold lives here now]

thanks bro.

just wanted to say that.

feel better about life

by listening to this.



looking at it helps too.

i like to think of it as the audio/visual version of eating a crepe and drinking a flat white. that i made myself.

julle ouens is grrreat

two oceans vibe did this. it's hilarious. even adriaan willem bergh said they were grrreat! but then i'm not too sure he understands what a parody actually is.
watch it.

then watch the original adriaan willem bergh video here. if you haven't had the good fortune already.

damaged control

oh, wait, two weeks, one brainstorm, one kief indie soundtrack, too many camera angles to stare at, one stick of mitchum, several copyright claims, five words, two desperate video deletions, and one very hopeful response video later...

and all is well in the world of adriaan willem bergh.

he's sticking to that old maxim that there's 'no such things as bad publicity'. perhaps not. or perhaps that's just an outdated way of making oneself feel better for looking like a complete twunt, that takes no notice of the effect of social media. yes. facebook and friends made bad publicity possible. and we all thought it was about connecting and making the world a smaller place. naive.

so here for you is adriaan willem bergh's latest foray into image making/rescuing.
watch it quick before he rips it down like he did the original video. you know, cos there's no such thing as bad publicity, right?

don't touch my olfa on my studio.

life can be ironic at the best of times, like when chad reminded to keep my olfa blade out of sight so that it doesn't get taken to studio and become lost forever.

and then reminded me that i'd stolen olfa anyways.

man what an awesome story! i just changed my password to chadisadick he's the BEST! :D

thanks for explaining capitalism

no problem mister fashion designer man.

it's nice here

feels like we're really fitting in.

good morning sailor jerry

yes it finally feels like i've woken up, woken up to something amazing

a hangover

i know? but as far as hangovers go this one was by far the best because drinking a full bottle of sailor jerry rum the night before made it all worth it

and the man in charge of sailor jerry south africa is brett rogers, and like he said he's just looking for some attention so look them up on

facebook or sailorjerry.com

not sure what to say about this

well. this guy's definitely winning something. he's either getting 'chop of the month' or 'satirist of the week'. whichever it is i'm laughing at him.
what a gent. he's even making me say words like 'gent'.
chine. boytchie. oke. bru. kief.
eff, i can't stop.
shmaak. laaik. chune. shweet.
taailand. peroni. sharks.
bint. proh-teen.
bench!

>>HALT! HALT!<< found another copy of the video that some other kind soul has ripped and uploaded. thanks friend. so that means: do watch it now.

>HALT! UPDATE< wait! don't bother trying to watch this video. apparently you now have to be invited to view it. so guess that means that this dude was being quite genuine when he said 'my idea of a perfect date would be a romantic dinner wiff a gor-jus girl but int-elergent'. guess he got embarrassed by his striking originality and like all the true geniuses withdrew from society, protecting his before-its-time gift to humankind through self-ostracism.
or. more likely, the thought of hundreds of pairs of eyes ogling his boksburg bowl cut and prize jet polyester chinos entirely royalty free sickened him to the bottom of his extreme-sports toned stomach. nee! he shouted. his patriotic, new south africa, enthusiasm and concern for the sick and weak couldn't bear that people, how dare they, might look at him on their computers and that this transaction would not result in at least a month's supply of whey protein or at very least some kief, lekker new go-faster stripes for the opel opc his dad got him.
okay. i'm over it. just really bummed i can't vote for him now. was literally creaming my pants in anticipation of the inevitable acceptance speech video. oh well, 'spose i'll have to cancel the spit braai.




thanks to thereza for this daai-mond, bra.

cinnamon rings and roundabouts

we've got doughnuts, massive macs, a brief. and, by some miracle of coincidence, an office.
we're under no impressions. just saying. but interning is pretty okay. and this time konrad and i are a team.
i left my camera at home so this is looking like a text update. of literally no value at all. to anyone. apart from the one or two cyberstalker obsessives who i know track my life with the desperate fervent interest of unemployed fashion-blog followers. because they probably are.

tomorrow i'll be making the best coffee in the world. in parkhurst. at a garish building that satanists painted black and landscaped with astroturf. it's called the super and i'm sure it'll be good. just avoid the people in robes carrying books and candles.

wait. i found a picture. the coffee will come from one of these machines, a faema e61 legend. konrad says you should come and get some of my hot white cream on your lips. flat white that is.

on this day

dillon was born. well, not this one, but a few days and 21 years before this post. point is we had an daaa-liii-shus party at burnside's, tequila flowed like the ancient rivers, and numerous posters of dillon striking his swedish extreme sports calendar model pose.

happy birthday boytch. and thanks for the party.

word on the street

is that today is a good day. as loading bay would say. dill, kyle and myself all completed loyalty cards in 6 days. if you're in cape town go there. they have fried chicken in a bucket. and the best barista in the country. and jeffrey, the best guy ever. and, according to maria, an owner called jon-paul best described as "perfection".



aside from loading bay cape town was okay because i managed to bribe the loerie judges into awarding me a craft gold (pictured) for fortywords and a silver for that metro poster campaign. yay. who said corruption doesn't pay.

and just so you don't ask here's directions. no excuses.
click it to view large at flickr.

but then i was like...

so i thought i'd post something cool about portfolios and how they were going, so i started designing something appropriate for the post

that guy: the pitch

one three-part cinematic artpiece.
two foreign film audio tracks.
three new german names.
four loerie nominations.
five-star performances.
six days in cape town.
and an update seven weeks overdue...

...are the numerically-ordered set of facts that herald the long-awaited return to cinema advertising for the kholkhoz.

the final ad may or may not have been produced by now, but here's the pitch for the new ster-kinekor vision mission ad. in three parts. strat. storyboard. extension.

watch. they're fun. they're hd. and there's a solid minute of pug footage hidden in there too.





to avoid being confused by the initial english section of the next video, think in english again. and it might be worth explaining that all the people in our presentation weren't allowed in unless they received a 'that guy' or 'not that guy' sticker. the process was the same as we proposed it would be in actual cinemas. to get a 'not that guy' sticker you had to donate 2.50zar.


we'll stick the finished ad up as soon as it's done.

credit: debussy, clair de lune. the audio track from the lives of others. the german audio track from the unbearable lightness of being. danke.

and an extra special thanks goes to eleni labrou. she drew our storyboard. exactly as we had imagined it. in record time. in a coffee shop. and with the sweetest smile. thanks.

news of the world

news: there's a new david thorne article up here

dillon's restaurant, burnside's cafe in craighall, now has a website

and the sartorialist, jono cane's favourite website, "ever"
has a whole new look and feel (thanks to sarah for this one)...
click here

the first riposte

as effing relevant as ever.

thank eff i'm leaving vega forever in a few months.

bitter. yes.

thanks angie

here's my little sister, angie. i still owe her a birthday gift from 3 years ago so in lieu i've decided to make her world famous and feature her on the kholkhoz.



and this isn't one of my sweet pics. it might've been my aunt or mum took it.

incontinent

|inˈkäntənənt; -ˈkäntn-ənt|
adjective
1. having no or insufficient voluntary control over urination or defecation.

yeah, that's not what i was looking for at all

oh, god, this is the best website in the entire world. this guy should get a black pencil for it or something. go read it and live a better life.


click the image or hit here

thanks to indi for this one. go to her blog to show your appreciation. and i think you can play with fish too. perhaps.

i know all about the crimea

well i was gonna pop the pics i took for jesse's istd project up. but i see he's already put the whole lot up. anyway, since i've loaded them onto flickr (and bandwidth should never be wasted after all) here's a few other ones i took on the day/night.







the other shots i took are also on flickr, but you've probably seen them on the posters below so i won't bore you again here.

istd 2010

these were my typographic posters for this years istd, i know right? no typography but your smart kids im sure you can work it all out, if anyone needs an explanation let me know, oh and please click on the poster if you want to see it BIGGER and with a readable bunch of text for each one... (theres three more on flickr) they're really big so i had to scale down for the blog sorry. seriously though just click on them

199, 999

well. i hate my life.
but dillon's car did hit 200,000 km's the other day.

you've heard this before. in book for student d&ad.

i won an In Book award for student d&ad. yes, it has been mentioned before. but now i have something for you to look at.
no, not another pug. just the work this time. sorry to disappoint.

click to see the campaign at the d&ad site.

thanks to certain people for their invaluable help. raph, shelley, nick, shakera. thanks.

and a particular thank you to angie. my wee little sister. who ran all around london to print & mount, and then got lost delivering my work just in time for the deadline.
thank you.

in book but no cigar

well i didn't get one of those. but remember the last pug you got? when i finished d&ad? well, scroll some more and there'll be another. a celebratory pug, if you will. because although i didn't get a pencil, i did get In Book for that entry. which isn't too bad either. here it is from bizcommunity's mouth. (wedgethemong is chad for those of you not yet in the know)

i'll upload the work as soon as i'm allowed to. here's your pug.

don't laugh

oh, i wish i could to say that this was my contribution to south african politics, but it isn't. it was someone else's.

kraft can't touch this

well. with a decent cash and shares offer i'll think about it.



yes. i've made my own chocolate. it is the best chocolate in the world. if you hold your breath long enough i will start making it in little pug-shaped molds.

watch out. kholkhoz chocolate is coming.

this is dillon

and he opened a cafe/restaurant. to prove it, here's a picture of his hand making coffee. and below that is a picture of his sister jessica wiping the machine. well, her hand at least. she's behind the incredible food they serve. not physically - she's a chef, comedian, and purveyor of the finest chocolate cake in existence.
and now there's a website. okay, more like an online business card. but it fits wonderfully on an iPhone. i'll make something better soon.

or in a while.




this restaurant/cafe is called burnside's. it's in craighall. and they serve the best food in jo'burg. and the second best coffee (the best is at my house). their details are on this business card (click the image for the big/readable version at flickr):



that number is no longer correct. call 011 326 3970 from now on. that's not my fault though. they're open for dinner on thursday and friday for now. take someone special. you'll get action. book in advance. it's a good idea.

but. you ask yourself: how does this relate to the kholkhoz? no, we haven't just become a cheap mouthpiece indiscriminately punting whatever trendy eatery for fame and untold fortune, no... this is relevant because i like coffee. and because i designed burnside's awesome menus and stationery. go give them a look. but please, don't roll, bend or wet them. they're uncoated. and i will feel inclined to end you. on the spot.



burnsides.co.za

something i did today

charlie: Look, kid, I - how much you weigh, son? When you weighed one hundred and sixty-eight pounds you were beautiful. You coulda been another Billy Conn, and that skunk we got you for a manager, he brought you along too fast.

terry: It wasn't him, Charley, it was you. Remember that night in the Garden you came down to my dressing room and you said, "Kid, this ain't your night. We're going for the price on Wilson." You remember that? "This ain't your night"! My night! I coulda taken Wilson apart! So what happens? He gets the title shot outdoors on the ballpark and what do I get? A one-way ticket to Palooka-ville! You was my brother, Charley, you shoulda looked out for me a little bit. You shoulda taken care of me just a little bit so I wouldn't have to take them dives for the short-end money.

charlie: Oh I had some bets down for you. You saw some money.

terry: You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Charley.

wedge enters d&ad student

london transport network grinds to halt as all hold thumbs.

he has. and it did. d&ad is done. thank goodness.

just thought i'd post a little self-congratulatory note for all the people with no lives of their own to ogle and wow at.

according to the rules of the competition i can't upload the work here until after the awards ceremony has taken place. or something along those lines. selfish of them i know. but. here's a picture of a pug instead.



and that's worth the bandwidth. so is the other pic of him at flickr.

aaaand i've published a new drafted post from a little while ago. either scroll down a bit or hit here to see unobtanium

die antwoord... to the man

as promised. wow. here's a real update.

kyle and i got exceptionally frustrated two nights back when the vega network was doing what it does best (but even better this time) - nothing. unable to work we opted to create a campaign that creatively communicated our dissatisfaction with the situation in the hope that the powers that be. in power that is. might actually respond at last.

glad to report that this approach worked. within hours of putting up posters and slipping mailers under doors an official response letter was distributed addressing the issue and further maintenance and consultation has been promised.

know the quality isn't too fantastic but here's one of the radical poster/mailers. click the images to view them properly at flickr and see another two.

a haiku and ambient activation too.

fred durst commented on our blog

actually he didn't but i thought we might as well have a go at riding some bizarre associative coattails to success. heaven knows it's been done before.

we've been awaaaaay for a while. glad you noticed. yes this blog seems to have become more about us apologising for not posting new stuff than it is about us posting new stuff. we really are quite sad.

well. there actually is a little bit coming your way very soon indeed. kyle, the previously-mentioned man with the internet plan is back in town and there's a little bit of student lobbying we've got to show you. and it actually achieved a response. maybe. gasp. it'll also get results.

then we'll be able to use the vega internet. which we pay for. awesome.

(sorry no picture now, but by tomorrow - i almost promise)

- holy crap i've just noticed that it's been TWO months since the last post. that really is unacceptable. sorry. comment with motivational hate-speech.

unobtanium

well how's this for pseudo-intel shoulder-rubbing. we (i) went to joburg fashion week. wait. audi joburg fashion week. they paid big money for that. i got a free ticket and macdonalds and a beer. so all in all it was good.

my favourites were a candyfloss wedding dress and the pot-plant from a gypsey's houseboat. but what i loved most about it was the publicly condoned voyeurism that rendered even the worst stalker's drop-jawed dribbling stare as the most admirable connoisseur appreciation. this is a good thing.

i say all these things but only got a photo of the logo. what can i say. i was too busy appreciating.



for the real audi joburg fashion week scoop and a hearty laugh, hit this link to Oxé's blog. you should do this. it is good for you.

i will make right

holy ben affleck it's a post from jes. but seriously though i haven't posted for a very long time because i've being doing a whole lot of sweet fokol, i know right?

i've been in cape town and its been too real hey, the roadtrip was incredible and i suggest it to everyone and anyone planning on going to cape town. drive there.

on tidier notes, i've made a pretty neat moleskine journal of cape town and so i'll probably put up an ebook of it when i get home, but yeah cape town is the business i'm enjoying but i'll be glad to get back. a lot of cool things will be happening i'm sure when the year starts properly

oh and i added music to the blog, viel spaß!