i'm sad

people have gone. and i haven't posted in a long time.

let's us let this make us happy.


tequila wednesday

got taken to a whole new level last week. here's the quintet of invites. in order of appearance. gangnam style theme 'cos you onry rive once! #YORO!

credits: Creative Director - @CoenieGrebe
Gifernator - @wedgethemong, Executive Tequila Daddy - @____Mig____


it would be criminal not to

post this.

i say we all learn the dance. then do avastar with it.



life gets weird sometimes.

I got a cool new job at hello computer jhb, and had a drunk minority crash into my fucking car. unrelated but thats life, its mostly good, but you get thrown curveballs all the time. im fucking sick of mother fucking bastarding curveballs.


more stuff to say

but frankly i can't be bothered to right now. besides most of you probably know what it is. so... in the words of someone i stole this from, fuck that noise. you can read something predictable some other time.

for now though i have this for you. a man with moves. and a moustache.


so much to say at once

that's what happens when you say nothing for ages.

though, much in the same way that having to leave behind the car you just ramped over an island means you don't have to pay for covered parking. there is an upside to this lengthy neglect. you gluttonous time-wasters get to gorge on perhaps the most prolific update ever published. we've ever published.

well now that the first piece of news is outta the way. yes some inevitably corrupt bunch of johannesburg government roads agency fucks had the wisdom to change two lanes into one. with a piece of pavement. and no notice. and i didn't have the wisdom to see it. don't worry i'm not peeing into a bag. just moaning. so everything's normal.

next up: irish car bombs are bad for you. unless you have friends nearby. let me illustrate how this works. through the medium of rugby and gif. this assuredly well-thought-out metaphor represents the car-bomber and how badly he needs friends around. in particular ones physically capable of bearing his weight.

volgende: we've just finished some radio ads. wow! you say. yes, i say. why? because it's not everyday you get to script, produce and flight what pretty much amounts to gay erotica. we can't upload them just yet, but we promise to. before the world ends.

and then: kyle and i are off to london. so what, you say. fuck you, i say. why? because we got our skinny little asses a nomination at D&AD! kyle's doing the whole, i'm-spending-all-this-cash-might-as-well-milk-it-thing and staying for some obscene amount of time. ten days or some shit. i'm being all slick and business about it. 60 hours in-and-out for me. land-party-coffee-win-get-the-fuck-out. which sounds a lot like a plausible verbatim mission brief from the guys who plan US military invasions.

and this is how poes-amped kyle is.

and and and: konrad and i wrote some radio about 37,569 months ago. they finally got made. and then they won a cool 3rd at ad of the month. hmmpf, not bad considering we wrote them before we were born. there are approximately 73 thanks you's owed on this one. so i'm gonna mention none of them. you are all good, understanding people. click these links to hear.


and this is me wearing an ironic ultimate hipster headband watch to illustrate the immensity of the time that it has taken to get these made.

and finally: something in this post that looks slightly. i say slightly. professional. ish. kyle and i also got these bitches off for loeries. so hold those thumbs. same project we got the nomination at D&AD for.


the idea is a box of pencils that make procrastination productive. but hey this is advertising so we packaged it as a direct mailer to get kyle a job. it worked. here's what the boxes looked like just before being sent.

the entire box. 50 pencils individually engraved with 50 different procrastination techniques. photo

and our favourite among them. photo1

and to make some sense of the whole thing. this is what the box said. click to enlarge/read. YA4B-12-22273_F


some things i've learnt

you can't symbolise the non-existent.

lollipops and ice-cream heal wars and create ghettos.

two heartbeats aren't enough to live, but are really all we need.

trees in a forest can't feel the breath of the mime on their bark.

death only visits the living.

and some people will always hate you. no matter how hard you try. even if you save the rhino, they'll still find a reason to hate you.


brosef kony

so if you're one of the one-hundred-and-ninety-fuckpile-three-hundred-and-twenty-shitload-and-ten people that have passed on or bought into this video. pleasus christ give the one below a cold hard view.
firstly because it's funny. and mostly because it's not 30 dickcrushing minutes long.
and lastly because charlie brooker wrote it. which should mean something to you. if it doesn't you are incomplete and should really work on getting a personality.


at last

thanks fuck mercy tits it's over.
the d&ad new creative entry kyle and i crafted to within an inch of its two-dimensional life is finally packaged and ready to be out of our lives. until loeries.

and here's the bubble-wrapped, brown-papered, trace-sleeved, cardboard-casketted, magic-taped bastard to prove it.

at last




just another sub standard piece of work because im bored out of my skull thinking about the point of existing...

and i couldn't find one so i just needed to distract myself and waste approx 2 hours of work time.